Are we there yet?

By | March 18, 2006

Here’s the lay out if you’re facing the bed. King sized bed. Marc on the right, me on the left. Between us is Sasha, up near the top, and Kala down at our feet. Colette, the cat, floats from side to side.

My eyes fly open. Room, dark… silent. Noise, what is that? Look to the left of me. Sasha, sitting up. Upper body methodically jerking forward. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! She’s going to barf on my face!

Leap out of bed while pulling all 50 pounds of this fat sheltie with me. Get her leaning over a dog bed with a removable cover. She finishes, I put her back on the bed, climb back into the covers and start to close my eyes.

Then it happens. A voice from the dark says, “Good thinking.”

Is this God? Is this a new hallucination? If it is, will it keep me company during the days? Oh, I’m not lucky enough to have God talk to me or have my own friend (even if it is all in my head). Oh no. I must have a husband who can compliment me on my fast thinking…. while watching it all and not doing a damn thing.

That’s pretty much started my day off to an acerbic start. While visiting an MS board I’m helping with the admin told me I put in the emotes wrong because there were duplicates. This royally pissed me off. There aren’t duplicates. You have to put in an emote multiple times for each code you want people to be able to use.

That little red haze has helped pinpoint an aspect of my personality that still needs work. When someone tells me I did something wrong I get very defensive and pissy. The rational reaction would be to discuss it or to find out the reason or anything constructive. Anger, in this situation, is not constructive. It is my typical response. Damn, haven’t reached perfection yet.

It would be easy to lay the blame on the funky wake up call, which did contribute, and the extra stress I’ve been under lately, but if I’m honest I know better. Earlier in the week there was a little tiff with another person.

This other person was trying to help but was confusing and giving bad information. That irks me, especially when I’m the one that was asked to begin with. Instead of ignoring this other person or dealing with her in a techy-to-techy way I smacked her down. Real mature Jessica.

All this other person wanted to do is be acknowledged as someone with technical abilities. At least that’s what I’m guessing since on another board she again went into a whole “Oh my gosh, I’m such a geek. he he hee! Don’t hate me because I’m a computer geek” spiel.

Hate looking in the mirror and seeing something ugly like that. It’s not enough to deal with the baggage that comes with MS. Oh no, life is also going to make us look at the other aspects of our personalities. And cringe.

Sasha the Sheltie

Sasha the Sheltie

For those that care, and those that don’t, here’s the Sheltie. Her present to me this morning was not horfing. She made the moves, made the sounds, did not make the puddle. Yay Sasha!

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