The last year has been really hard on me physically. Between the stress and the move and the flare and and and… It’s been full and my health has taken a nose dive.
It’s been… interesting… adjusting to not being able to walk suddenly. I always expected a gradual progression, not a sudden abrupt complete removal. That’s a really harsh reality to emotionally process much less adjust to.
Emotionally it hasn’t been too bad because I’ve been expecting this since my first noticeable flare, about 25 years ago. But physically, oh my god.
It’s not hard sitting all the time. Really, it is so easy always pushing a button or moving a joystick to get from point A to point B. But then, what do you do? You stretch, readjust the position of your wheels, reach again, move closer and hope your wheels don’t make hard contact. You learn how to reach further than natural. You learn how to literally bend backwards. You learn.
Life is amazing. Learning and growing. From the dust, the ground (literally), I’m learning I CAN. It will take time, effort, energy, frustration, and a whole lot of forgiveness.. of myself. And I will because there isn’t a choice. I will because I can.
I will because I’ve been blessed with two children who are worth everything to me.
I will because my husband, my mate, is always there to pick me up when I’ve fallen. Sometimes literally.
I will because I refuse to allow something as inconsequential as my physical being to hold back my will and spirit.